Humble Pie: Tastes Like Crap and Good for You Too!

Have you ever sat in a room with your wife and a group of people you consider your friends and have all of them tell you how the very thing you love to do isn't as good as you think it is? I have. It ain't that great.

Sunday night, February 27th, in the course of discussion of our vision and future as a church plant, we got on the subject of my preaching. I think I may have been the one to bring it up. Thus began about 15 minutes of what was wrong (and occasionally what was right) with my preaching.

This is nothing new. Every Sunday, I ask Etta what she thought of my sermon and I want honesty. I want to know if I made sense, if it connected, etc. I want her to analyze the delivery, style, content--everything. And she does. Completely. Honestly. Bluntly. But that's how we roll, so it's okay. Many of her critiques have centered around the fact that though I get very excited about the research and the exegesis, which is vital to deliver God's word with clarity, I tend to deliver a sermon that's very wooden and academic, at least for the first 15-20 minutes. But she always adds that the application portion, usually saved until the end, is better and more relateable. And she expressed the same on that Sunday night.

Let's just say my Leadership Team concurred. They were very positive about it and even told how they generally love that kind of academic, in-depth study. But not so much on Sunday morning. It would be great on Wednesday-small-group-night but it comes across as more professorial and less preacherly on Sunday.

Now, I wanted to give them all the reasons for exegetical, verse-by-verse, through-the-Bible messages. But it wasn't necessary, especially to my wife who typed all my papers in seminary. Besides, I had to hear what they were saying, not the words they were using. What they want is not a less exegetical sermon but a more passionate one.

I admit, I'm not a snort-and-blow preacher who slings snot and tears at every turn, but I am passionate--I thought. But again, they weren't asking for flair and emotion-they were asking for passion. They were asking for their pastor to preach from his heart not from a series.

You see, I want to be like all the great preachers out there that have a clever title that everyone smiles at and preach a series that has, at least figuratively, motocross behind me and hot air balloons and Ferraris and dog tricks. But that's not me. So what my people were getting was a seminary lecture because there was a box I was trying to put myself into: the preach-through-a-book-exegetically-but-keep-it-topical-and-interesting box. And I was having trouble making me fit there.

I'm pretty sure Etta said this every Sunday, a friend wrote me a note last summer that said this, and my team said it Sunday: passion isn't external, it's internal. They want me to preach from my hurts, struggles, victories, questions, and needs. They want to see a pastor on the stage that gets them and where they are. You can read my post on plastic preachers and how I dislike them, and now I was becoming one. Until Sunday, February 20th...

Saturday, February 19th, I was done with church planting. Too many things were falling down around me to be able to continue. My sermon prep day is Saturday but this time, I didn't want to do it. So I didn't. I knew one family would be out; therefore, we would likely only have two families at church on Sunday. So we were going to cancel church and go to Denny's. There, I would probably tell them that we were closing the church before too long because I was done. Sunday morning came, I had no sermon prepared and at 10:15 we would cancel and leave. And at 10:14 a very sweet family that has shown they want to be a part of our church came. So I couldn't cancel. Did I mention I had no sermon?

Earlier in the week, a friend had sent me a verse, Isaiah 41:8-10.

8 But you, Israel, my servant,Jacob, whom I have chosen,the offspring of Abraham, my friend;9 you whom I took from the ends of the earth,and called from its farthest corners,saying to you, “You are my servant,I have chosen you and not cast you off”;10 fear not, for I am with you;be not dismayed, for I am your God;I will strengthen you, I will help you,I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

So I fed off this verse and mainly talked about how, though I believe this verse, it's often hard for me to live this verse. I basically griped a little while and bared my soul.

And it turned out to be one of my best sermons. And this according to my team, definitely not according to me. I thought it probably sucked. So why did they think so highly of it?

Because it correctly parsed the Hebrew? No.
Because it had a clever title and a catchy hook? No.
Because I had a Bentley or skateboarders on the stage? No.
Because it was from my heart and an expression of what God was doing in my life? Yeah.

So that Sunday night, February 27th, I feasted on humility. It wasn't easy, but I know it was best for the church and for me. Am I now worried that I have lost my ability to lead, because I allowed my team to critique me? Just the opposite. I believe I am a better leader because I showed I am willing to learn and correct myself. If we as leaders believe we are infallible, we will soon have no one following us. People are begging to follow someone who "gets" them. One of the many attractive aspects of Jesus is that, because He was fully human, He fully gets us. We as leaders are certainly no better than Him.

So, it didn't taste good. It wasn't fun. But it was necessary. Leaders: be willing to hear the criticism of those that are following you. It might just make you a better leader.

Thank you for your sacrifice.

This speaks for itself.

Be sure and check out the Summerlake update post below the video.

Two movies you have to rent/buy.

Bella and Dan In Real Life. Bella is squeaky clean and fights for adoption over abortion. Dan In Real Life has a few questionable things, but overall, a very clean movie. I highly recommend them both. You can read a Plugged In Movie Review about Dan In Real Life.

Another video, but I think it's important.

Oh conservative, where art thou?

Greg Davis, a republican in Mississippi up for reelection to Congress lost on Tuesday to a conservative democrat. All I know of the democrat is that he is pro-life and pro-2nd Amendment. All I know of Davis is that he was republican and a lot of republicans campaigned for him. I don’t know any of his stands.

If Davis was like any of the many republicans the Republican Party tells us vote for (i.e. moderate, big-spending, pro-choice, pro-illegal immigration, pro-global warming insanity, pro-pointless gun laws) then I would have voted for the conservative democrat as well. I’m tired of having moderate republicans shoved down our throats and being told that we have to vote for them to keep a republican majority. No, I don’t have to vote for them.

I will vote for the most conservative candidate running for whatever office is on my ballot, no matter the party. I am a registered republican, but values are thicker than registration cards. Instead of crying about losing majorities in both houses (and they will probably lose more members this November) they should be returning to the values that got them the majorities to begin with. They need to return to the conservatism of Reagan and have the same will to fight for those values that Newt Gingrich had. Remember, Gingrich pushed for (and won) Reagan values during the Clinton presidency with his Contract for America.

Some other problems with republicans—I’ll let Sean Hannity say it. “Maybe if they can’t live up to the basic standards of honesty and integrity and character and decency and morality, maybe they should put aside their ambition and get their personal lives together.” Or maybe they should not get voted into office and they'll realize the error of their ways.

So this November, I, an evangelical Christian, will vote Republican for president. I am not voting for McCain; I am voting against Obama. However, were there a democratic candidate more conservative than McCain, I would vote for that person. Were there a third party candidate that was truly viable, and also more conservative than McCain, I would vote for that candidate. I will vote for the most conservative candidate available, but I will also vote to keep extreme liberalism out of any political office. And, frankly, I believe that is the responsibility of all Christians—that is, to vote Biblical values first and foremost and let them guide the rest of the political decisions we make.

Narcissistic duplicity or, as I like to call them, preachers.

I'm tired of self-serving pastors.

Narcissism is rampant. The idea among most pastors is that it's all about them. "How can I make a mega-church? How can I get on TV? How can I get my name known? How can I be impressive?" These are not the questions pastors are called to ask, but they are increasingly the goals to which pastors aspire. I've seen pastor after pastor start ministries, put themselves on the radio, and make their names on the church sign nearly as big as the name of the church. All in the name of evangelism? Yeah, right. All in the name of promotion--and not the promotion of the gospel. Seriously, what does http://www.pastorsname.com/ do to spread the gospel? I dare say, not much. Now, promoting a narcissistic agenda? Well, then it works quite well.

And when will pastors learn to just be a person?

Why must we put on our plastic face every morning and attempt to present to the world an idealized persona? The world isn't ideal. Life isn't ideal. Sometimes it sucks and we need pastors that will say it. We need pastors that will say we lust, that we struggle with our own finances, that we need help, that we often seek (and enjoy) the power and recognition, that we often succumb to narcissism, that we question whether or not God really knows what He's doing, that we are huge fans of Aerosmith. Pastors are only regular sinners, saved by grace, and called to a specific and special task. We are not special. We have no anti-sinning cream. We have the same responsibility to live the life to which Christ calls all Christians and we struggle just the same. And luckily, we don't have to preach our lives, we preach the inerrant Word--that which greatly surpasses and completely overshadows our failings. And besides, our sins and struggles as pastors help the flock to see that everyone's flesh is in constant struggle with the spirit.

I'm not saying that pastors should sin in order to give better object lessons. Nor am I saying that our sin is excused out-of-hand. I'm saying that we must be real. We cannot lead the lost to Christ by our holiness. We lead the lost to Christ by showing people Who is truly holy. People cannot relate to and will not follow a wax dummy. They will follow someone they know has been and will continue to be in the trenches with them.

In my life I have known two pastors that were real. To the best of my knowledge my childhood pastor, Pete Evans, was real. He was just a guy. The other one that I know was real was Pete Jory, the pastor under whom I served at First Baptist Galveston. Other than that, I've seen plasticity and I'm sick of it. I'm mad as Gehenna and I'm not going to take it any more.

Pastors, say it with me: narcissistic duplicity is bad and, if we ever learn to say it, we are taking it out of our vocabulary. It has no place in the church and no place behind the pulpit. We are turning people away from the gospel because of our conniving and hypocrisy and it has to stop. As pastors, it's high time we were honest with our congregation.

As fearful of this subject as we are, we have to have authenticity in the pulpit. I want people to ask me how I'm dealing with sin. I don't want them to be fearful of judgement because I portray myself as perfection personified. Because we are nowhere close to perfect. Hebrews tells us that we have a high priest that understands our struggles intimately and has overcome temptation. It is ludicrous for pastors to work so hard to convince the congregation that they can't relate to sin and give the impression that they've conquered it. Regardless of the many God-complexes out there, pastors aren't Jesus.

Yes, he does. And I'm sorry.

I found this story in a 1937 edition of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Quite convicting of daddies who spend too much time fussing and not enought time loving. It might even convict a few mommies.

It sure slapped this daddy around.

FATHER FORGETS
W. Livingston Larned
condensed as in "Readers' Digest"

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

These are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boy friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightended with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding--this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

I, too, have asked too much.

Way to go!!

Good job, Republican Party. By marginalizing the large segment of your base that is evangelical Christian, and putting a moderate like John McCain up for the presidency, you have guaranteed that a liberal will win the White House. Let's all celebrate the radically liberal judges that will be appointed, the assault on our Judeo-Christian values that will be launched, a reinforcing of abortion on demand, and no marriage amendment.

You should be proud of yourselves.

The only positive side of this is that America will be primed for the conservative values of Mike Huckabee after four years of Obama/Clinton hyper-liberalism.

Huckabee 2012!!!

GO MIKE!!!!

If you can at all afford to give, please click on Mike Huckabee's link to the right and make a donation. Let's fight to put a true social conservative in the White House.

FREEDOOOOOOOMM!!!!!!!!!!!

After 7 months (almost to the day), I have quit the Wal-Mart Distribution Center. It is an incredible time of rejoicing at the Linton home. Now, don't be confused; I'm still working on the weekends. I got a promotion to Assistant Manager at Domino's. This means more money hourly, but I'll still be delivering pizzas and making those all-important tips.

The freedom comes from the change of hours and the extreme decrease in physical exertion that the new job creates. I will have to now work an extra night on the weekend, but I won't go in until 6PM. That means an increase of four and a half hours at home with the boys (and my lovely wife) on Saturday and Sunday. Take out the two hours that I miss on Friday night before the boys go to bed and I get a net increase of 8 hours with the boys. Also, since there is much less labor involved at Domino's (read: almost none), I'm not as tired and zoned-out during the times I am at home. We can spend Saturday playing outside, going to the park, a trip to the zoo, whatever, and not affect my night at work. It is truly a wonderful blessing from God that I was given this opportunity.

Don't get me wrong: Wal-Mart was a tremendous blessing as well. It was exactly the job I needed at the time and it got us through a very hard time. My boss, Mike, could not have been any easier to work for. Any time I needed off, I got it. When I needed to go to part-time right after school started, he said it was fine. Even when I asked to get off at 11:30 on Sunday night when everyone else had to stay until 2-3, they granted it. They were great people to work for, and I am extremely grateful for their help. But, the job itself absolutely sucked, and I am so happy to be through with it.

There's a lesson here: the places God puts us and the opportunities He provides may not always be exactly what we want. As a matter of fact, they may suck tremendously and seem like a particular level of Hell. But that does not mean that they aren't God-sends. It doesn't mean that God was not involved in the process from the beginning. It doesn't mean that there aren't lessons to learn and reasons to rejoice. I can look back and see the chastening, the discipline, and the training that I received while working there. I also have had the privilege of developing a great friendship with Chris, a fellow minister and someone struggling to follow where God leads, even when life seems to go through a crappy season.

So, so long Wal-Mart. May we meet only in the land of shopping. Thanks for the money, thanks for the insurance, thanks for the lessons, and thanks for helping me lose 20 pounds. I'll miss you, but not enough to come back to you. You are a loss I will gladly get over.

I PASSED!!!

Thank you Jesus and everyone who prayed. I passed my teacher certification test. And, I didn't just pass it. I made a 286 out of 300. That's a 95%, for you Ouachita grads. I had to make a 240 to pass, so I passed it with flying colors. I'm so relieved. I prayed to just pass it--I didn't care by how much. But I'm so excited that I did so well on it.

Thanks again for all your prayers. Monday is our first day of school and I sure could use prayer again. I will be teaching 8th grade science at Wells Middle School in Spring, Texas. You can see a picture of me with the rest of the science department here. I'm the tallest one.

Another job!!

I got a job today teaching 8th grade science this next school year. This will allow more of our funding for Summerlake to got toward ministry and events and less toward feeding my family. Click here to go to Etta's blog and read about it.